Attend the Fortean Times UnConvention (1)

This task is a bit of a cheat, since I was going to do it anyway, but some things are too much fun not to blog about.

I've subscribed to the Fortean Times for 15 years, and having their magazine plop through my letterbox every month is like getting a regular visit from your favourite dotty auntie. It specialises in bizarre news stories - UFOs, ghosts, great eccentrics, monster sightings, great eccentrics...Not to declare these things as true, but also not to denounce them as silly superstitions. More a celebration of the fact that sometimes life is just plain weird.

Every year the FT has its UnConvention, and last weekend I got on a train to London, where I encountered theremins, transvestite Kate Bush tributes and talking animals.

On the Saturday, first up was Jon Ronson, talking about his book The Psychopath Test, which was something I suspect I'd have enjoyed more if I didn't work in mental health. I found myself thinking about the clinical issues rather than enjoying the laughs, which is probably the wrong approach to take. He commented on the oft-repeated claim that psychopaths don't just occupy prisons, but also the higher echelons of business, politics and the legal profession. Which would certainly explain some of the behaviour of our nation's elites.

Next was Brian Regal talking about the life and ultimately tragic death of Grover Krantz, a naturalist who became obsessed with finding the mythical Sasquatch. Regal suggested Krantz reminded him of the archetypal tale of the lonely scientist, burrowing away searching for the truth, alternately ignored or ridiculed by his peers, and on his deathbed receives the final vindication that he was right after all. According to Regal, Krantz's life was "almost like that."

After David Clarke relating a 19th Century news story of a woman reportedly scared to death by a ghost, and Jan Bondeson telling us about Rolf the talking dog...

...no, not that one...There was cryptozoologist Richard Freeman, describing his searches for mythical great apes in India and Sumatra. I've never been much interested by cryptozoology, which strikes me as a pursuit that involves trekking to the most godawful places on earth in order to look for animals that probably aren't there. Even so, I've generally found Freeman (and his yeti-like colleague Jonathan Downes) such engagingly likeable folk that I've been keen to listen to what they have to say. Even Penn and Teller's Bullshit show seemed strangely charmed by them. For once, Freeman's expeditions may actually be paying dividends. He's come up with increasing amounts of data that the orang-pendek in Sumatra may be an actual sub-species of orang-utan, rather than simply a myth. If he finds it, I suspect he may e-mail the first photo to Penn and Teller.

I took a quick trip to the merchandise area, where I heard Richard Freeman commenting that, "I'd rather eat dog shit wrapped in razor blades than vote Tory" while Jonathan Downes observed, "Diabetes isn't as much fun as it's made out to be." Then back to the arena, where historian and theremin artist Sarah Angliss talked about the invention of the first audio recordings on wax cylinders. She commented on the sensation this caused at the time. This made me think about something that seems so everyday in the world of telephones and iPods must have seemed incredibly alien when the first people actually heard their own voices. Angliss invited a member of the audience to record a wax cylinder, which prompted a young lady to bounce up onto the stage and yell, "I LOVE YOU SAUSAGE MAN!" into the cylinder. No doubt Sausage Man will be honoured.

Then, onto the evening social at a nearby pub. After a gleefully nerdy pub quiz, Sarah Angliss was back, with her "band" Spacedog made up of Angliss, her theremins and some robots.

Also comedian Helen Keen gave us a puppet show about the invention of the photocopier, inspired by her own temping between comedy gigs.

She commented, "When the first Xerox machine was made, it was originally intended that there would only be 5000 of them worldwide. Which means I've operated every single one of the fuckers."

The evening ended with a drag queen performing homage to Kate Bush, where one member of the audience received an impromptu makeover.

Surely, this photo must serve as a warning as to what people will get up to when you stop tolerating drugs.

And then I staggered off drunkenly into the night, ready for day two, which I shall post the review for tomorrow. The second instalment shall involve a talking mongoose, ventriloquist puppets and the desecration of a cursed stone head.